LM23 Rating: Looks great on the big screen, but basically a so-so story
So I just got home from watching Eternals. I didn’t expect much as I’ve heard repeatedly from YouTube creators I follow that it’s had horrible reviews and it’s apparently the worst reviewed MCU movie ever.
The movie started off with a really lackluster opening. The fight sequence was so forgettable I can’t even really remember what happened.
However, I was surprised when the movie started to pick up steam after a really unnecessary preamble and set up. I don’t know if I’m in the minority of this feeling, but I really didn’t buy the “great love story” between Sersi (Gemma Chan) and Ikaris (Richard Madden). It seemed more like lust and a bit of a crush between the two characters. I was surprised so much time was spent on watching these two randomly get together and even get it on on the beach.
Unfortunately, both actors didn’t have much chemistry. It was almost like we were forced to go along with their “epic” love story as we literally had to keep track of the longest and drawn out relationship timeline ever (I’m talking about going back to 5,000 BC and making our way into the 1500’s AD to present day).
Even when they crossed paths again after literal centuries so suddenly in London, I didn’t feel that pang of unrequited love united again feeling like so many rom com’s have done so effectively. Eternals operated like a typical movie that is clogged with a bunch of characters where the stock good looking guy and stock good looking girl will be the couple and the rest will serve as dramatic and comedic support.
Despite the lacklustre leads, the supporting cast was quite compelling and I wish more of their story and interactions were focused on the over 2.5 hour movie. The definite standout was Kingo (Kumail Nanjiani). After the Eternals all went their separate ways as the bad guy Deviants were destroyed, Kingo went on to make bank as a Bollywood star. I nearly choked of laughing when he explained his ability to deflect the fact that he never ages by showing portraits of his “famous family” of actors. It’s all him of course, but just as his Great Grandfather and all the way down to his father. Unlike the two leads, Kumail holds the screen and feels like he’s ready for prime time. It was such a huge disappointment and also very confusing that his character didn’t end up in the final show down. I kept thinking he would eventually come back to help his “family” but he never did.
Gilgamesh (Don Lee) was also another great character who also didn’t have enough screen time. He became Thena’s (Angelina Jolie) guardian and caretaker at one point and he was the Eternal who ends up dying. You know in movies like this when there’s so many characters that they will sacrifice one of them for that “shock and awe” effect to tug at the audience’s emotions. But Gilgamesh was a likeable guy who can cook a feast, fight with this fists, and not abandon his family even when they are afflicted with a mental illness. You did feel genuine sadness when his character was killed by a Deviant
Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry) the Eternal who fights with his intellect and can come up with the strategy and weapons of war, was the sarcastic comedic relief, but also a character you cared about. He was the Eternal who acted the most human and just happened to have some random super powers. Phastos ended up getting married to a man and having a cute son named Jack. I thought the way they had Phastos try to protect his family from the insanity of his real life seem really believable.
Makkari (Lauren Ridloff) the fastest Eternal, was also too limited in her time. I thought her character had the best fight scenes in how she could zoom around time and space and catch her opponents off guard. It was an added bonus that Makkari was a hearing impaired Eternal who communicated with sign language.
And let’s not forget the two biggest names in the movie, Salma Hayek (Ajak) and Angelina Jolie (Thena). Whenever these two were on screen, you could feel their star power and their experience as movie stars. I still can’t remember the magazine which I read the article about where Hollywood’s movie stars are, but I think we often take for granted the criticalness of an actor’s ability to have presence on the screen and make the movie believable.
I think Eternals would have been a much better film if Sersi and Ikaris were played by other actors or if they weren’t the main leads but rather just have it be a true ensemble film. Both Madden and Chan seemed really wooden in their performances and didn’t do a good job representing the chosen strong ones amongst the Eternals crew.
Although Ajak was killed by Ikaris who was insistent that they follow Arishem’s plan to destroy Earth and its inhabitants so they can have more planets created, I was so relieved that Thena made it through to the end. It was almost anticlimactic to have Sersi turn parts of the earth into ice when we just watched Thena kick ass and slice up the Deviant Kro. When Thena fought, you really felt it was a mano a mano fight. Though the pivotal fight scene seemed very minimized being in an isolated and dark cave which didn’t give Thena much room to showcase her sword fighting and acrobatics.
Overall, I was really impressed and relieved that the final fight scene gave solid screen time to the supporting cast. It really felt like a team of Eternals fighting against the Deviants and it didn’t just fall on Sersi to be the main hero. But as I mentioned earlier, a huge gap in the final fight scene was Kumail Nanjiani being MIA. I don’t know why his character insisted that he couldn’t fight against Ikaris and then he peaced out with his manager, Karun. That was another odd random character and plot point of the movie. It didn’t make sense that an Eternal would want to drag along his faithful friend and put him in danger by having him document their adventures. But Karun made for good laughs.
Another strange plot point was the whole living forever thing. It was a strange thread that was repeated throughout the film. It seemed like the Eternals all spent a great deal of time trying to live with the fact that their time was, well, eternal. It was almost like we were working with a bunch of vampires who had to live from century to century and be able to explain why they never aged. I did give the film credit for actually addressing it, but it was odd that the whole living forever thing was made to be a thing for the characters.
Sprite (Lia McHugh) was the child Eternal who became enamored with Ikaris and was jealous of Sersi. It reminded me too much of Claudia in Interview with a Vampire. I wasn’t certain why being human was made to be such a concern and something to contend with for the Eternals. If Arishem created them and they were basically really advanced robot beings, then why have the whole love triangle between Sersi, Sprite, and Ikaris? Why force us to try to believe that Sersi and Ikaris were this great couple and even went so far as to have sex on a beach? Aren’t they robots? And why did Kit Harrington show up as Dane or Sersi’s current boyfriend?
Ultimately, Eternals feels too much like a wannabe X-Men movie. I couldn’t help but think that Ikaris was a copy of Michael Fassbender’s X-Men character. I think the movie could have been helped with some better casting and a better story. There were some great moments, but I don’t think I’ll watch a follow up if they don’t add actors who are better known and can hold the screen.
Comentarios